The "Filling of Feeling" exercise is a preliminary contemplative exercise and a foundation for genuine prayer. It must be approached with a mature humility and a firm softness that allows a gentle and steadfast navigation between what arises in a more connected relationship of thought, feeling and sensation - an energetic basis of Being.
The Preparation Exercise is undertaken first. When the Preparation Exercise has been completed, stay with the state of a "whole-sensation", calm, centred, and deeply quiet, yet very attentive to inner movement.
When ready, "invite" a memory of a real experience. The invitation is not forced or coerced - simply reach back and wait patiently for it to arrive.
The memory can be anything, but often strong memories are easier to invite, initially. The memory could be a past trauma, a moment of intense experience, remorse of deeds or words or something pleasant - but the search for a memory is, first and foremost, a "discernment" of what is needed to arise, what is needed to come to the surface and relate in a different way.
When the memory begins entering, in its own time, have a strong wish for it to fill the body - to allow the experience of the memory to inhabit every part of one's Being, while sustaining as "whole of sensation of the body" as possible. Do not resist or encourage the filling - it is lightly followed, as if from afar.
Let the feeling fill up the body, or as much as is possible - and then, immediately, gently invite the memory to leave, little by little. Do not force it out or cut it off - simply stay with the sensations of the body and allow the feeling to completely empty, finding its own way out - but watchful as to where it goes.
Return to sustaining a strong sensation of the body through an active attention, and then move into the day or night with a firmness of purpose, not being concerned with the memory or the exercise that was undertaken.
Find your way with the exercise, ensuring not to over do it, but not underdoing it either. Wish to be stretched, not broken. Again, discernment is needed.
Overtime, and with great patience, I, perhaps, can begin to see, hear, smell, taste and even touch the inner vessel, the body of sensation, that can allow the currents of past, present and future to flow through it and be related, without "me" necessarily being completely consumed by them. With this, contemplation and prayer can take on a new dimension.
Blessings.
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